The friends we make, the lives we shake

After reading Tangled by Carolyn Mackler (check out the review, guys!) I realized that our lives are all based on a million chance meetings . . . like the people I met at the Taylor Swift concert a few nights ago. Or the friend I went with. Maybe I'll never see those new people again, or maybe, one day they'll replace that friend I went with. It's all so random . . . this life, this world.


Without friends, we wouldn't be the people we are, right? We all have friends, different kinds with their own little quirks. I decided to write a post about those friends, or, about my friends. Maybe you'll be able to relate, maybe not.



My Best Friend:


We love the same music, books, snacks . . . we're practically twins in some aspects. Despite that fact, we do have our differences.


She loves softball, I'll always be a die-hard volleyball fan. She goes to a personal trainer, I go to the gym. She doesn't like to write short stories, I live off of them.


So, we have our differences. The key to our friendship though: we let things be. There's no arguments over stupid things, no begging for sleepovers, no persistent text-messaging and calling. We talk when we want, say what we want to say and do what we feel like. Friendship should come easily (that's not to say it's all butterflies and rainbows, you've gotta make an effort); if you've gotta really work at it, it's time to leave it.



The Know-It-All:

We all have that friend, right? Either they're always getting top grades or they know about the latest gossip, and they flaunt it. It can get annoying sometimes.

My friend is super-smart, and she doesn't let me forget. While, sometimes, I want to narrow my eyes and stick my tongue out at her, I just remind myself that she might know all about math and reading, but there's stuff she doesn't know.

Keeping things light lets us stay friends with each other. We don't argue and we don't get annoyed when the other wins (whether that be a geometry final or a writing contest). Friends shouldn't argue over the little things. So stop yourself if you find yourself bickering without reason.


The Butterfly:


I once heard about a girl being described as a butterfly, no faster was she tacked down than she was escaping and running off. My friend reminds me of Bridget from the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. She can't be tied down.


Not by a boyfriend. Not by a friend. Not by anyone.


I used to try and keep a leash on her, but there's no point. Friends like these come and go, and you just have to let yourself have a good time while it lasts. They come quickly, but they leave oh so soon.


So, enjoy them. Let them in, but know they will go. Butterflies can never stay forever, you know.


Here Tomorrow, Gone Today:

She laughs at your jokes, agrees with your decisions and makes you feel like you could be friends forever. Then, suddenly, you're realizing she wasn't always like this. She used to be mean, used to be evil.

People change in the blink of an eye. One second, they're an enemy and then . . . they're an ally, standing beside you. It all changes so much, though. I once had a friend who promised me forever. When the tide shifted and the sun stopped shining. . . friendship's a fickle thing. It comes and it goes. It rains and it snows.

Here's a poem I wrote after the fallout of a really, really long friendship:

Our Friendship’s Fall

Friendship is built from
Love, hope and trust.
When we’re little, it’s formed
From faith and pixie dust.

It’s supposed
To be strong.
It supposed to
Last long.

So why didn’t ours?
One day, it was there.
Now it’s gone.
This doesn’t seem fair.

We were so close;
I knew your dreams.
You knew my wishes,
But nothing is as it seems.

Was I just a toy?
Something to be thrown away?
Is it because I changed;
Stood up for myself that day?

You promised that we would
Be best friends forever,
So why has our friendship
Suddenly been severed?

We’re both at fault;
We can both be blamed.
Honestly, though,
I’m not ashamed.

Our friendship was rocky,
Before this whole mess.
All because you started
To care about it less.

Our texts were short,
And you stopped calling.
When I wanted to make plans,
You were always stalling.

I backed up,
And I stepped away.
I promised myself my emotions
Would no longer sway.

I’m sorry I really saw you,
For what you truly are.
You were no longer my friend;
No longer a shining star.

Friendship is built from
Love, hope and trust.
When we’re little, it’s formed
From faith and pixie dust.

None of that matters, though,
When you’re only acting.
Your lies and the stories you wove,
They’re all so impacting.

I’m turning away,
And ending it now.
I can’t do it any longer,
So go ahead and take a bow.

Don’t bother calling.
It’s over, once and for all.
I’ll try not to remember
Our friendship’s fall.

It hurts, doesn't it? When suddenly your 'best friend forever' is defriending
you and deleting your phone number from their contacts. It comes down to one
question though: Do you really want to be friends with someone who can erase you
so quickly?

The Friend of the Opposite Sex:

that you almost always wind up falling for. Yeah, I've got one of those. Actually, you know what? I've got two of them. I let myself fall in love with one of my closet guy friends and it was a really big screw-up on my part.

But you know what? I don't care anymore. I like him somewhat now, not as much as before. Call me all the names you'd like, but I even find myself leaning closer to my other guy friend. The thing is, I know nothing will ever happen between us. It makes me feel risky and confident to lean in and brush an eyelash from his cheek.

Let yourself fall in love with that guy you hang out with all the time. If you fall, he might just catch you.

Or he might stay a friend and put a trampoline where you're going to fall.

I've been thinking . . .

I promised that, soon, you'd get another message from yours truly about life, love and all that other stuff. I've been thinking about it, and I know what I want to say. What I want you guys to hear and pay attention to . . .

So, we've all had our hearts broken. Maybe your "true love" dumped you via text message (been there, done that) or your best friend left you when the going got tough. Or, maybe, you lost a loved one, like a parent or sibling. We've all gone through storms and showers, right?

I'll tell you all what I've told countless friends and relatives. These are all my honest opinions. If you don't like it or agree with it, then fine. Go ahead and leave. I won't chase you down.

It's all right to cry. Let it out. Crying won't make you less strong or immature. If you don't cry, it'll all just build up inside of you until you have to bubble over. Don't let it get to that, because it usually ends with more problems than what you started with. Believe me, I've been there before.
If you lost your friend (not due to death, sickness or any of that sort) you need to ask yourself if it's worth it to try and patch things up. Sometimes, you realize that things just weren't working out. Adults and counselors try to tell you to make it work, sort things out . . . what if it isn't worth it? What if the friendship was toxic? Just hurting you and breaking you down? If it was, let it go. Move on and come out stronger. Don't let it tear you apart and eat at you.

For those of you who had someone die . . . I lost my grandparents (only two, not all four) within a year of one another, and I didn't even know my grandmother. It was tough. I saw the difference between losing someone you knew like the back of your hand and losing someone who was never around. My best friend lost her dad when we were only eleven or so in a freak accident. My advice for you: stay with your friends. Don't listen to people who try to make you feel childish for being upset. You have a right to scream and curse and be angry at the world. (I know people say you shouldn't, but it's all right. Let it out!) And remember, refer to the first bullet.

That year-long relationship was just ended with a text, and you're feeling like crap? I know how you feel. So, I'm only fourteen. So, my longest relationship was three months. Big whoop. I've seen adults divorce, my older relative in tears over boyfriends and my friends just shatter to pieces.

1. 
   
   Your parents are getting divorced or maybe you are. The love just isn't there. Think things over, really and truly. This applies for people getting married and divorced. Think of the bad times (arguments, fights), but remember the smiles, the laughs. Sometimes, it's easier to cut ties and go your seperate ways. I'm no expert on marriage, but it's not some light thing to just do for fun. Think it over. Really.





2. Your boyfriend (I'm guessing I don't have boys following me, but if you are a guy, or have a girlfriend, then just change this post to fit your relationships) broke up with you and you're feeling lost. I've seen it before. If you don't know why they ended things, ask them. Don't sit and sulk and wait for time to start moving again. Be brave, be strong and find out what went wrong. Don't let them end things with a text saying 'it's over'. Make them talk to you. You'll regret it if you look back in a few years and remember that you just let it all slip by. Don't let that happen to you.





3. It's three A.M. and you're sitting in your room, trying to figure out why your first boyfriend just broke up with you. You were dating for over a year. He was your first everything. Your friends ran out of things to say, and you don't know where to turn. Honey, it's okay to cry. It's okay to hide under the covers and let it out. Just break down, because if you don't crack and fall apart, you can't be put back together. Remember that time will go on, more boys (or girls) will come and you will come out of this, alive. It feels like the end of the world, but remind yourself that it's all right to cry and eat ice cream until you burst. You'll need time. Broken hearts can't be fixed or made invincible. The only cure for a broken heart is time, friends and a good dose of Ben and Jerry's.

• One more thing for relationships with friends/significant others: Don't let them use you as a personal yo-yo. Some relationships are toxic and no good, to put it simply. If your "true love" keeps breaking up with you and making you wonder why you two are together, let him go. Let him realize what he lost, not what he can mess around with. If your friends keep ignoring you and leaving you out of the loop, think things over. What are you getting from them? Giving them support and respect and trust is great for them, but if they're keeping secrets and letting you just fade away, it might be time for a change.

So, there's my message for today. Friendships and love are important in life, but don't let them take over to the point of stress. You might think differently. Maybe you think people shouldn't cry and that they should just move on and say "Screw it" to the person who hurt them. Good for you. We all have opinions and that's part of mine up there. Those are the things I wish someone had said to me when I was hurting.

Well, ta-ta for now, guys! Best of luck with life, love and surviving this crazy ride.

Fearlessness

"Cause I don't know how it gets better than
this. You take my hand and drag me head first
Fearless
And I don't know why but with you I'd dance
In a storm in my best dress
Fearless"

Taylor Swift sure knows what being fearless is, but do you? Do you know what it's like to just jump and not have any fears?

Fearlessness is a lot of different things. I was thinking about this as I walked with my cousin through an amusement park the other day. She's seven years older than me, and I've always looked up to her like she's the greatest person ever.

So, when she looked at me and just said, "You know, you're so fearless. I could never do all the things you do."

It surprised me. I mean, me? Fearless? Never.


The more I think about it, though, the more I understand what she meant. What my classmate meant when he sighed and said, "You're never upset, never sad. Never angry. I just don't see how you do it."

On the outside, I'm that smart, joyful fearless girl. I'm not afraid of anything. I could never fail.

The thing is, though, I'm not fearless. Not at all. I just know what to be fearful of.


All right, this is where I stop rambling for a moment and see all of your blank faces. What I'm trying to say is . . . don't be afraid of the little things. Don't be afraid you'll wear the wrong clothes or that your hair won't look good. Don't be afraid that you'll mess up while presenting a project or that you'll flunk that test, even though you studied for weeks. Don't be afraid of those things when there's so much more out there.


In life, there are some fears you simply can't conquer. I'm terrified of death. The thought literally makes me break down and cry. That's something I don't think I'll ever be able to change, because it's death. You can't power through it and come out on the other side, totally fearless. It's not possible. Of course, if you do manage to do that, call me up. I'd love to know ;)



Go out and ride a rollercoaster. Fail a test. Ride your bike up a ramp with no safety protection. Jump off a cliff.

Don't spend your life being scared of the things you can change, of the things you can conquer. Being afraid of something means that part of you will never be happy. It'll always be worrying and biting its nails. So, do something reckless and get rid of your fears.

For the fears that remain - like my worry of death - just let yourself get rid of them, slowly, but surely. Let those things that worry you and terrify you just fade away. It'll happen, I promise.

No, the party never stops . . . woah

Tonight is my eighth grade dinner dance/formal, whatever you wanna call it. I've got my hair drying in a towel, and I just returned from getting a mani and pedi :) While I wait for my hair to dry and the dance to arrive, I decided I'll post another little confidence booster of sorts. I'm hoping these little guys help some of you out there.


In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.
Robert Frost

See that quote? Robert Frost was right; no matter what happens or how many things tear your life apart and break you down, your life will go on. You will make it through, and nothing is going to stop you from being you. I know, once upon a dreadful time, there were tons of places where people weren't allowed to be themselves, and they weren't allowed to speak up and stand out.

The world's a changing place, though. Maybe you don't live in the USA, like I do. Maybe you live in China or Cuba or Argentina. I don't know, and frankly, I don't have the time to stalk my thirteen followers and find out where all of them live.

I know there will always be people and leaders that try to keep others silenced. There will always be those who feel superior and try to make you feel like you're inferior. But you're not. To feel inferior or worthless or hopeless or anything, you must allow yourself to feel that way. You must give your mind, body and soul permission to think those things and treat yourself that way.

So, why treat yourself like you're worthless? Or helpless? Or stupid? Everyone has something special to give to the world; we all have a hidden talent, no matter how old or young, girl or boy, black or white. It doesn't matter. We are all human beings and we all have the power to voice our opinions.

I'm not saying to start a riot or try to assassinate the president. Those are very negative things, my dears. People who consider those types of things need to seek mental help, immedietely. What Frost was trying to say, as well as I, is that life will always go on, no matter what happens to you. So, if something bad happens to you, don't stand there and let it eat at you and destroy you, because your life will go on and you can't let that continue to happen.

Stand up for your beliefs. Stand up for others. Stand up for yourself.

Well, it's time I go and get ready, everybody. I hope you liked my little speech there. Kinda confusing, emotional and weird, but hey, if it helps anyone out there, I'll be satisfied. Wish me luck, fellow bloggers and followers!

You've Gotta Be Strong

So, the end of my eighth grade year is approaching quickly. It's been as chaotic as it's been fun, which means I'll have mixed emotions when I finally do leave the hell hole I called home for so many years. (Who knew they even had kindergarten through eighth grade schools anymore?)

Anyway, I've been dealing with drama lately. Boy drama, school drama, suicide-thoughts drama. But none of them were actually about me, you know. Well, maybe a little of the school/boy, but no suicidal thoughts for me, dearies :D I've been consoling and helping and holding people up all week.
And I've realized something through all of this. Something that I feel I should share with my lovely followers who deserve a hug and a virtual pound of fudge.

No matter how worthless life seems or how crappy things are, you've got to pull through. I don't care if you hate your family or the school thinks you're a whore. I don't care if you want to kill yourself or your boyfriend cheats on you. I don't care, because nothing is worse than ending things right before the sun comes back.
I was with a girl on Friday who broke down crying so much that she couldn't even keep walking, and she was so, so broken. But you know what? Ten minutes later, someone got her to smile. Someone got her to laugh and hold her head up high.

What is all this random rambling, you ask? This is the rambling of a writer, of a girl, of a teenager, of a friend, of a sister. The message I'm trying to show you all: Don't give up. Whether it's getting a novel published or living your life, do not give up. There is always something to look forward to if you just keep looking.

What Inspired You to Start Writing?

This post actually includes three questions, all from the same asker. I won't be saying names or anything, but here is question #1.

What inspired you to start writing?
Well, when I was little - second grade - I moved to a new school. One thing that was different was that they had Writer's Workshop. We got almost an hour daily to write and come up with ideas. I started writing short stories. I even made a series out of them. It was mandatory to write during those daily hours, but I started to love writing because of it.

#2: How do you develop your characters?
When I start thinking of a story, I find myself imagining the characters to go with the storyline. To help my characters grow and become realistic, I find questionnaires online and fill them out. Here's an example of one: http://www.writingclasses.com/InformationPages/index.php/PageID/106 I usually fill out two or three per character, but I make sure the questionnaires are different. It also helps to print them out and save them so if you ever forget the character's parents' names or anything, you can just look it up real quick.

#3: What's your advice for me, the girl writing a vampire love story?
Like you, I'm writing a vampire novel. A lot depends on what "type" of vampire you have. You want to make your story original. You don't want to be a Dracula replica or a Twilight minion. Add traits or characteristics to set your vampire apart. Make people go, "I know that vamp!" when they hear about your book in a year or two. :D Here's a wiki page with a good questionnaire for vampire authors: http://new.spork.com/players/index.php/Vampire:Character_Creation Depending on your vampire, you may need to skip questions or even add your own in. Either way, it's a good idea to fill out what you can and help yourself become closer to your vamp.